A tribute to my REDNECK brother...

This is for my eldest brother RYAN....

Remember when we lived in Vernon and we would lay on the trampoline and you taught me how to shoot those darn prairie dogs in that HUGE field next to us with the pellet gun? I sure do. However, I'm pretty sure I never hit a single one...even though you would always say, "Hey, I think you got that one." When in reality I would just hit the dirt and a cloud of dust would shoot up.
Remember when we were riding that old piece of crap 4-wheeler with the fenders that were bailing wired on and we got it stuck/high centered on a stump up by Cinderberry Mountain? I do and I also remember that you told me to bounce up and down on the back of the 4-wheeler while you proceeded to rev up the engine and rock it back and forth. Then once we got enough momentum to "bounce/jump" over the stump, the 4-wheeler took off and I went soring through the air like an acrobatic flying squirrel. Lucky for me I gracefully landed in a cedar tree and walked away with only a few minor bumps and scratches.
Remember when we would get in some major "play" fist fights and I actually bruised your back once? I do...and now I am forever paranoid about the "payback".
Remember my freshman year when you would offer to give me a ride to lunch?...Well if and ONLY if I was quick enough to run across the parking lot, dodge other driving cars and trucks, and make a running jump into the back of your truck BEFORE you peeled out and sped off. Then once I made it into the back of your truck I believe I had my life flash before my eyes at least 3 times!
Remember when my chevy truck got broken into and I couldn't get it to turn off or move or do anything cause the dumb person that broke into it broke the entire driving column shaft thing? Or remember when I had a flat tire on the side of the freeway? Or remember when I somehow wrecked into a guard rail and pretty much totaled Mike's dodge truck? Or remember when I was driving Rustin's old white car down to the valley and it somehow died? I remember all of them AND I remember that you were there to fix the trucks, drive me to where I needed to go, buy me something to eat, and then have to drive the 4-6 hours back...usually hauling my broken down something or other back with you.
Remember when I made an irrational decision to move up to Cedar City, Utah? Then after 3 months decided that I didn't like it and you came up there and loaded up all my stuff and helped me drive back to AZ in the middle of the night and in the middle of a snow blizzard. Nuff' said.
Oh remember when we worked out on the farm and I would ride with you every morning and I would PRAY for my life the entire trip? Oh and remember when I sunk a tractor in like 9 feet of clay/mudd/dirt/sewer water and you and Kameron spent a couple hours trying to get the dag-blasted thing out? I remember...and I also remember feeling like a helpless retard.
Remember when Kameron or someone decided that I was smart enough to drive the Roadsider? And I spent most of the day cusing and hitting that dumb machine? Then you got in it and it performed perfectly and you did it like 100 million times faster than me. AMAZING!
Remember when we would go bunny bashing/shooting out at the farm and you would fly over those farm roads like nobody's business and I would occationally hit my head on the roof if I wasn't holding on tight enough to the "Oh SH*%" handles. You especially liked to do that if I was trying to reload the gun or following a jack rabbit with the spot light.
As you can tell I have a lot of great memories of my brother Ryan. He's the smartest Redneck around! He can fix or at least jimmy-rig anything and everything, drive like a bat out of hell (while making you feel as safe as a swaddled baby), blow a thick and very dense smoke all over your enemies with his suped-up truck, and help you out of any "OH CRAP" moment....without complaining or expecting a payback. My oldest brother Ryan is the best.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY RYAN (1 day late). I love you and hope you had a great day. Thanks for everything!