My "un" luck...

Can I just tell you how many phones I have lost, damaged, drowned, or crunched?
Let me just tell you.

1. 1st cell phone on my life got ran over and crunched. Unable to revive.
2. Replacement phone: droped in the toilet. Drowned- tried to give CPR-unable to revive.
3. Replacement, replacement phone: left somewhere between Mesa and Show Low. Lost without a trace. However, I eventually found it in the back of my truck. RECOVERED!
4. Upgraded phone: Dropped in the bath tub. Another drowning case.
5. I-POD (yes it is not a phone...but it WAS tragic): This event takes a little bit of explaining to completely grasp the full picture. It was winter...therefore there was snow and ice everywhere. I pulled up to my parking space, un-hooked my new pretty white I-pod, put it in my sweater pocket, and got out of my Rolla. Then all of the sudden this stupid freakin cat comes out of no where, and I think, "hmm, I shall throw a snowball/ice chunk at that dag-blasted cat." I took aim, wound up and threw...right on target...WHAM! I hit the cat right on the back. It was beautiful! I proceeded to do a victory dance. (It more looks like an old lady polka dance.) Then I walk inside my house.
A few minutes later Trace pulls up. Meanwhile I'm just sitting on the couch eating Cheetos or something. He walks in and says, "um, where's your I-pod." I smile and say, "It's in my swea... (as I pat my empty pocket) I mean car." Trace: "Oh really? Then what's this?" As he holds out my I-pod. Tara: "Oh there it is!" Trace: "Yah, I just ran it over...with my truck." INSTANT SORROW and SUFFERING. I-pod did not make it. Rest in Peace.
6. My new chocolate phone: lost somewhere between Provo, Ut and Show Low, AZ. My guess is that some indian on the rez is enjoying my lovely phone.
7. My replacement chocolate phone: My fat-a knee somehow ended up on it's face and the poor little thing couldn't withstain the pressure. It busted...well, more like shattered.

And that pretty much brings me current. In the past 6 years I have gone through 5+ phones and 1 I-pod...not to mention other things that I have somehow misplaced or lost or ruined. WHY? I have no clue. I'm responsible, I PROMISE. What causes this? I have not a clue. I DO know that it drives me crazy...and also my husband.
Anyway, point of the story...Don't text me cause my phone screen is shattered...and hearing a text come in but not being able read it PRETTY MUCH DRIVES ME CRAZY!!!